My body seems unable to cope with the amount of stress I’m experiencing at the moment. My one kidney aches, my skin is a mess, I’m tired and nauseous all the time.
So yesterday I (very reluctantly) applied for a professional to contact me regarding debt counselling. Which resulted in a tiny panic attack. My gut tells me this is not a good idea and that it will cause more stress than relieve it. My head tells me that if I could only get my debt consolidated (even just half of it) I’d be able to pay everything I need to without resorting to desperate measures, as I’ve had to for the last three years. But it also knows that no bank will lend me that amount of money.
And now I wait for a stranger to call me and get all up in my digits. I’m not happy about it, but it doesn’t seem like I have a choice. I’ve been avoiding the debt counselling for so long, especially after my mom told me that the past year she’s been under counselling has been the worst decision she made.
Speaking of my mom, she’s officially single again since Tuesday afternoon. Now we just need to get the house sold so she can start over. I’m going to mail her as soon as I’ve posted this, to hear what my nephew’s report card says. I miss my people – everyone I love is in Pretoria. I’ve left everything behind for a job that did not live up to its promises and expectations.
Oh well, I suppose I should be happy it’s Friday. And payday – for what that’s worth.